Thursday, 30 May 2013

“We're born naked, and the rest is drag.” - Our Lady of Dayumn (RuPaul)

I used a yoga advert as a cookie plate today.


...


....

I am feeling ok with this decision.


And then we were alone...

Thought:

Charles Bukowski reminds me a lot of my father.

I guess right now my greatest fear is running out of his words... and having no one left to talk to.




Credits: The Solo Swan

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Mintage: The Great Jean Revue... er, Review!

I love me some denim. Maybe you've heard? Yea, I did triple denim... in the office... I'm going for quadruple next time.


BOO YAH!

Anyways - back to the point...

I am now the proud (and broke) owner of a sh!t ton of repro jeans.

I have (in order of poi-chase... er, purchase):

1. Three pairs of GAP High Waist Skinny Jeans (2 Black, 1 Blue)
2. Freddie's of Pinewood Classics
3. Freddie's of Pinewood 1940s Work Pants
4. Bernie Dexter Siren Capris in Black Denim
5. Bernie Dexter Siren Capris in Blue Denim
6. Bernie Dexter Skinny Dungaree High Waist in Black Denim
7. Vivien of Holloway 1950s Jeans in Black Denim

Whew... "Ouch" said me wallet!

I will do a proper review later with photos of my fine denim-clad azz but for now the story is:

1. Pic Unavailable - These puppies sold out fast because their reputation preceded the quality of this batch!

Bust the zipper out on me ol' Blackies. Good thing I had a spare pair. These fit great... however, the black denim fades to a Salvation Army tinge after the FIRST wash... looks more vintage than I'd like if you catch my drift! The black denim was much thicker and therefore flattering. I wore the blue jeans once but the fit on those was so horrid... the thinness of the denim paired with the thickness of the waist band gave the worst silhouette. Spit! Gross! Givin' me the Horsey Sauce Blues!

2. Freddie's Classics. Had to go up a size in these from the 1940s Work Pants because ain't no way that was gonna happen. Ah the fond memories of bathroom adventures when these were yet to be properly broken in... shudder. I really liked these at first - in the dressing room at Camden market. Buuuttttt.... uuuggghh. I have since decided the denim is a smidge to thick and the cut a smidge too wide for someone of my thigh-ular proportions. It just... was.... :: Little Mermaid gasp - sigh:: stumpy. Such an absolute shame since in my mind Freddie's has by far the best quality denim on the scene... Maybe I should give the New Jeanies a go??? So in the end I took the scissors to these and made them into shorts... I think they work ok... especially because I was able to choose the length... which is a whole other post about how impossible it is for us chubby-legged lassies to get some retro shorts that aren't hotpants!


3. Freddie's 1940s Work Pants. These! They are so the goods. The fit is incredible and makes my legs look miiiiiiles long and my waist so fly (or waspy?!?! boom! puns!). But seriously. These are a great jean and I can't imagine them not looking good on anyone. Though, disclaimer, I won't wear these without some chunky-azz platforms for extra leg-lengthening... which left a HUGE void in my life since I can't seem to manage wearing heels between the hours of "sober" and "buzzed"... so I needed a pair of casual denim that wasn't stumpy!


4. That's when I went to What Katie Did and snagged me first pair of Bernie's (which I initially wrote about in my Mintage Spending Spree post). These were the Black Denims, size Rio Grande (which will be my stage name from now on - obvs!). These fit amazing. These seriously caused a man to honk and give the boyfriend a thumbs up as we were walking down the street... hahahahahahah. It's as if all those years of shite denim lead up to this moment. These jeans were the reason I ate all those cheeseburgers and ditched soccer practice. So that my curves could be resplendent in Bernie Dexter jeans... Alas, just as all love stories come to a horrifying end (or maybe just Love Story... ugh the worst)... I am having some ishies with my babies. One of the back darts is coming undone (Mind you there are only 2 months old) and the front seem is pulling... Obviously not devastating but I get weirdly obsessed with little imperfections and so have focused on and blown these issues out of proportion... sad face.


5. Then bought the Bernie's in Blue Denim, which are available in the UK through Kittenish Behaviour and at £100, vs £120 at WKD. These are also great though aren't as thick as the black denim... which is a bit boo. And also! The way that it's just the zipper and no button! Word to the wise... this happened to a friend of mine.. ahem!.... make sure they are zipped up right and maybe use a safety pin or else yo bare azz will be walking through the airport.... SHAME.


6. Woops I lied. I actually "technically" bought the Skinny Dungarees before the Blue Siren Capris.... alas, they are sitting in LA until I collect them in July because my momz refused to spot me $200 for shipping.... GAWD MAWM WHY>!>!>!> jk.... Hoping those are awesome. Fingers crossed.



7. Now about my most recent acquisition... VoH 1950's Jeans... and finally! Some awesome casual jeans that aren't so va-va-voom as the Siren Capris but still look good with little tomboy shoesies. I lovelovelovelove them... Though there were some intial issues with the purchase... first was told the wrong size, then bought the wrong size and then when I got home I noticed the seam on the pocket was coming out so had to bike out to the shop and return them and then bought the right size online - whew. So as I sit wearing them now everything is lovely... will comment on durability a bit later as this is my first day wearing them! And then just want to add in the most roundabout non-controversial way possible... I know I am just still used to American levels of customer service.... and I can admit that I am the most socially awkward and sweaty person ever so I take full responsibility for that.... SO I am hoping I just had some off experiences! Let's put it that way! Here's hoping because I love the jeans and hope to score the sombrero skirt as well! Wow I just b*tched out of that hard. Man up, Horsey Sauce!



That's that.

Leave a comment or email me at TheYearOfGigi at Gmail.com if any questions on sizing!!

Credits: Bernie DexterVivien of HollowayFreddie's of Pinewood

Thursday, 9 May 2013

Mintage! Etsy Mill Street Vintage... WAaaaaAAAaaAAant......

Like Oh Em Frikkin Gawd....

First I was like "Say hwa-hwa-hwaaaa?"



But then I was like...


Seriously.

Are you serious?

How is this a thing that exists and is not mine?


That's it, I'm dead. I'm gone.


This post brought to you by pop culture speak.

Credits: KeramigoMy Life as a ShitShowGifs for the MassesSemi Charmed Collegiate Life



Mintage!: Blamma Lamma Ding Dong... Pinterest!

I don't know that I have a Pinterest.

DO I?

But here's an awesome one....

Lydiaposh1's Vintage Mexican Hawaiian Clothing

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy!


Everything you need to regret that you are not a gazillionaire. Or a dope Mexican chick.

I got both. Waheeeyyy.

EN-jwah!

'Til next time.... Do recall...

Lepah Prin' Errthang

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Damn Dirty Ape, or How to Clean your Mason Pearson (Updated!)

Update: Dear people of the internet, I love you. I live for you. You are wonderful and you make me laugh with your gifs and teacup pigs and whozzit-whatzits. I love you, I do. But I would like to take this opportunity to make clear that I do appreciate getting comments on this silly little thing called blog. I do prefer the comments / criticisms to be constructive but I understand that, hey, sometimes you've got other things going on. Sometimes the need to share just bubbles up and out of ya and sometimes it can come across wrong. I get that. I AM that. So with that being said... I must request that you please try to keep commentary polite and not knee-jerk and, most importantly, constructive. I get enough GUFF being an overly self-conscious and polite person in a big, mean city! So with THAT being said... I wanted to make a few clarifications on the below - not because I am admitting defeat - but because I am admitting that portions of the below could be written a bit clearer - and I love y'all too much to be responsible for anybody ruining their precccioussessssss. That is all.

Now, I was never one of those girls who grew up dreaming of a Mason Pearson brush. Maybe it's not an American thing? But it seems that everyone I come across who owns one muses about how "this is THE brush that I ALWAYS wanted since I was a LITTLE GIRL!". Little Girl Gigi hated and feared brushes. In fact, most days that I was staying over at my dad's we would just throw my nest into one of the many beige gummy rubber bands that Daddy perenially kept around his wrist....


Which should actually only be used for this....

 Or this.....

Waheyyyyy.

My own acquisition of a Mason Pearson brush was a combination of two of my fatal flaws:

1) My being a sucker for packaging (Hello, cute wine labels belying purple nail polish remover!)
2) My inability to say "No!" once an item is rung up... an item which I had not known the price of before...

So that was that. Cool salon (Pro Green goes there... which used to make it cool but not after this Made in Chelsea shiiiiiiiiiiit) PLUS my standard awkward human interaction EQUALS wonderful Mason Pearson acquisition.

Once I brought my baby home and placed it lovingly next to its cleaning brush, I got an endless stream of abuse from friends... about no wonder I'm broke all the time.

But once you feel that bastard on your weary scalp - it all melts away. I would like to say that I also let these naysayers have a go at her... but nuh-uh, screw 'em. Their punishment is to crawl through life without ever having tasted the sweet sensation of Mssrs Mason et Pearson.

All that aside.... this brush is a very real investment... it friggin' comes with instructions?!?!?! Which I threw away a long time ago and probably wouldn't read anyways because I am arrogant and stupid.

So then when it comes to cleaning my precious I had to turn to the internet.

The original directions can be found here: Mason Pearson

But that's soooo much text and I am of a wayward illiterate generation... Give me pictures!

Blush Pretty

Ah! That's better. But a toothbrush? ::While probably a GOOD idea:: I say heck nah. I am not investing more into this bastard.

So I bring you... Body by Burgers Super Lazy Mason Pearson Brush Cleaning Bonanza

Thing the first... Do NOT wait for friggin' ages between cleanings... cuz thass nasty. (me = hypocrite). But really, it will be much easier to clean if you don't wait for it to get gooey-gummed up with your DNA

Thing the second... the bare mitts treatment. If you have waited a little too long between cleanings, use your bare mitts to remove the surface fluff of matted hair

Thing the third... Use the incredibly awesome "brush-cleaning-brush" to work through the next layer of ever more gummed and matted hair combined with finger picking to get all the hair out

Thing the fourth... Now, if you are like me, and use an inordinate amount of hair product and crap then the brush will have lovely little reservoirs and lumps of old product. This is where some hot, I mean, lukewarm water from the tap comes in. (In the MP official instructions, they advise dampening the cleaning brush and then using that on the main brush but, again, am lazy.) In my experience a QUICK run of lukewarm water along JUST the bristles is the trick. Too much wet and the bristles may go limp... ALSO try not to get the pad at all, you lazy mucky puppy too much or the rest of the brush... I say this because I remember as a child immersing my big paddle brush in water and then water would get trapped behind the pad and get all swamp-nasty - and oh yeah it might ruin the dang thing as well.

Thing the fifth... The fleetingly. romantically quick running under hot lukewarm water should have caused the product to loosen... just grab a non-fuzzy flannel and in a picking / swiping motion (not a scrubbing or rubbing motion or else you will just redeposit more fluff on the brush) use it to get the rest of the product out.

Ta-Dah! And Boom Shaka Laka...

Look at that beautiful monster. Over 1 year old and still sittin' pretty.



Credits: Memoirs of a Roving MindWikipediaJuliet Cloud Cuckoo Land

Friday, 3 May 2013

Mintage: If I Were A Small Boy

Yes yes... I am totally guilty of being one of those people women who see cute kiddie clothes and attempt to rationalise purchasing them in case:

a) I have a little squid of me own
b) I "Benjamin Button" outta this b*tch

Mostly these are right proper good stuffs... not stupid stuffs. So that helps me feel better as well. Like that shop that does knits that make it look like your baby is being eaten by a shark... Lemme find it...


On a recent scoot through the Magical Land of Etsy I just kept stumbling on AMAZING items, at INCREDIBLE prices that looked just a bit.... tiny.

Oh woe is me. To be a tiny baby human again....






Or maybe even just a man human?

This one might actually fit me though it's a size small and I am not sure I need a small men's shirt....




These def won't fit... and these hurt the most!


Mintage: SeLf CoNtRoL

I am in the throes of study mode.... for an industry regulatory exam... not a escuela exam.... hahahaha. The Good Ship Escuela sailed maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaany moons ago....... which makes me want to post some "yo Mama" jokes about myself here but the only good ones I am finding are a bit too dark for such a lovely day :)

So here is some lovely "Yo Mama" art:


Cute.

Anyways! The POINT of this post is another one of my charming misadventures that, as always, occurred both in my mind and real life!

Walking to the tube I saw this GOOORGEOUS girl with this INCREEEEEEEEEDIBLE emerald green skirt. Box pleats. Gold zipper up the back. Nipped at the waist with the bunches of box pleats emphasizing her hips and just getting that good ol' fashioned "jut" look (Holy god, that does not sound flattering... "jut" ... but you know what I mean? Let me find a visual.... Ok, can not find a visual... But think 50s style 18th century fluff! I am aware I speak mostly nonsense...)

Now while I am normally not a proponent of stalking women on the street.... I did. .. as below:




I followed her a good three blocks, making me late to meet the mister on the tube... but it was for GOOD reason! I inspected every inch of her ensemble until I could narrow down some possible vendors of the Most Perfect Skirt Ever TM. 

And I think I found it.



ASOS of course. £38....

And it comes in an oxblood colour that I truly, hand on heart believe would complete many outfits and seriously (this time) be my last purchase until our holiday in LA.


But I have yet to pull the trigger... I guess it was something about the way the mister looked deep into my big brown eyes and said "Seriously, you do realise this is not right, right?"

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

The Importance of Personal Branding

Whelp, I just calls it as I sees it. "The Year of Gigi" has given way to "Body by Burger".
...
Just give into it.
..
I have.
.

Evil McDonald Cheeseburger Body by Cheeseburger

Don't worry... Still ambitious... Just rounder :)