HALLOWEENIES 2013!

Now... for those loyal readers.... hello? Hello?? HELLLLOOOOO??????

You may recall me mentioning that Halloweenies is my most favest holiday. It is.

Unfortunately... I am let down every year by everyone's lack of enthusiasm and options.

All I ever want is a solid house party. And all I NEVER got was a g-d solid house party!

So... I decided it was time to stop belly-aching and make it happen!!

We hosted the 2013 Haunted Hootenanny of Horror! Or something.. I can't remember what we actually called it...

Since my costume was going to be Western themed I figured I would make the whole shebang western themed as well! I spent weeks compiling the playlists and decor. The Bjorn spent like 20 minutes deciding on the menu and about 12 hours cooking it... BBQ pulled pork on homemade buns with homemade cole slaw and corn bread and and and and homemade pun'kin' bread... it was a delight for the senses.

My bestie took a ton of pics which I still have to get off her... but without further ado... what you have all been waiting for.... My costume......

JK That's a pumpkin.. which I carved! (go me!) Using a stencil... (weak sauce.) hehehe.

This one and its buddy were promptly smashed by youths less than an hour after being put out on display. I maaaaaaybe cried.

Now without further ado....

BOOM! What is that?

Who am I?

Fat Jessica Simpson???? No, I told you, no!

QUEEN DOLLY PARTON, PATRON SAINT OF HONKY TONK ANGELS!

Here's another pic so you can see the sweet Wanted posters I made for decor:

And guess who sewed the shirt and headband?? ME! Though without buttons because..well, I just gave up. I guess a collared western shirt isn't a "great" beginner project - but it actually did come out quite well I think!

I wore Freddie's of Pinewood Classics down below with some amazing glitter french tip fakey nails - which caused me to need help droppin' and raisin' trou' so had to switch into the infinitely more stretchy AA disco pants.

I wish I had a picture of how this night ended for me - but no one was clever enough to have captured the wigless hostess who snuck off to La-La-Land... ZZzzzZZZzzzzz.

WAZZAT! Sewing Misadventures!

So I have been pretty quiet around these parts... Don't worry - I am still lurking on other people's blogs... just not pooblishing any of me own. "Why?" said nobody. Because... I have been trying to learn to sew!!!

Here is one of the first "pieces" I created - and actually wore out in public! A green gingham peasant top!

Pardon the less than exciting photo - Picasa changed its online editing - boo! and I am too lazy to sort out another option.... advice?? And as far as the weird angle goes... we owe that to the creative genius that is my Mr. Bear.

I am not even going to mention which tutorials I followed or anything because it is such a sh*tshow... This is like the 4th one I made. I just could not do it... could not get sizing right. Even stuck on a sports bra under this one just to make it wearable as we were headed out the door... and guess who got massif armpit chafing?? ME!... wa-hey! But I think I looked cute - wahoo!

Handmade peasant top paired with Vivien of Holloway jeans - which have become my new favourites even though the Bernie's are more comfy I recently saw some pics of me in them... and.... anyways.... Belt from Target, espadrilles from god knows where and sunnies from San Sebastian tourist trap.

Ain't No Pity in the Big Dumb City, aka I Got Hit By A Car.... And All I Got Was This Amazing Embroidery!

So, it has been forever and a day since I wrote anything on this ol' online expression platform o' mine. Usually this has been for a good reason because I was too busy living it up and setting this town en fuego... har har har.

Some of my recent adventures:

Soundgarden show, Black Dahlia Murder show, Macklemore show, Portuguese weekend in 16th century estate, Triathlon (or Un-athlon since I only did the cycling ha lazy lazy fatness), and some other new hobbies which are helping turning me into the bloggeriest blogger that ever bloggered.... I finally got around to starting up sewing and added embroidery on just for shizzles and giggles.

But in recent days I have had good reason to stay put and immobile - doctor's orders!

That's right... On Thursday AM, I was meant to be at the office c. 7am and so left early and was enjoying the fairly uncrowded roads and cool air of a morning cycle commute when right before the Old Street Roundabout a real go-getter swerved to cut me off and ended up sideswiping me on my right side. Instead of launching me onto the pavement, the ol' luck o' the Gigi meant that SOMEHOW (and I don't know how because I kinda draw a blank at this point) I was launched into the middle of traffic... The next thing I recall is staring at a bunch of cars, not being able to tell if they were coming at me, and trying to spring out of the way. But my legs were all tangled in my little green bike-cycle and I just couldn't go anywhere. Then a kind-face cyclist came and helped pull me to safety. Also - at some point my shoe had flown off.

The driver pulled over about 50 feet down the road and came back over towards me to.... blame me for the incident. So there I was shaking and startled and this guy was blaming me for him hitting me. Unbelievable. He asked if I wanted him to take me to hospital - obviously said no since I was just out of my mind in shock and he left - without exchanging any details - which is a criminal offence in the UK... btw.

I got on the phone with the Mr. Bear and told him what had happened, that I was ok.... then in a fit of "OMG I am actually rather embarrassed by this..." I got back on my bike, audibly groaning with each push. Within 2 seconds I looked down and saw blood coming through my pants and then I realised the full severity of what had happened. So much pain came flooding in.

Anyways, I went online once I made it to the office (via cab after refusing to let anyone take me to the hospital)... and tried to Google around any advice... So I guess I wanted to write this post to offer up some things I have learned that I wish I would have done...

I call this bit:

Congratulations... You've been hit by a f*cking car.

1. Get out of the street.

2. I know it's life-ruiningly frightening but try to catch the license plate - especially if the douche doesn't stop.

3. If the douche does stop, and is not a douche, this will go much easier. Exchange details. Make sure you at least get license plate and name from the driver.

4. If the douche does stop, and is a douche, try to keep your wits about you and focus on getting that license plate number. Let them bullcrap you all they want but just get those digits. A camera works a treat as well though I think a subtle way of collecting data is safest and least likely to arouse ire from the driver.

5. Go to the hospital. Hail a cab, call a friend, just go. Work will be there when you are done. I went straight to the office and worked the whole day. Nothing dire happened because I waited but it's always best to go as soon as possible - especially as there is a portion of the criminal report that asks for this info and helps police assess the severity.

6. Go to the police. Go within 24 hours. I went within 28 hours as I was trying to not be a "baby" and was repeatedly told that I was supposed to go within 24 hours. But either way... just make sure you go and file a report. If the driver did not give you their info then that is a criminal report that needs to be filed and not just incident.

7. Go get a butt-ton of ice cream and some sweet crafting mags....

LONG POST! TL;DR? Here's the payoff...

Since being couch-ridden I have been able to work on this little puppy....

Not to be confused with an amazing embroidery version of Tim Burton's Blue Girl...

Here's another little ditty that I did, based on Sublime Stitching's patterns:

Yay for bed-ridden handicrafts!

Source: tumblr

Secret Music: Laura Marling is my soulmate....

Let me just say that I prepped for this in the strangest of ways... pretending that Laura's sister wasn't temping for us... But she was! And she looks like her and sounds like her... and my sad little fangirl was dying... but I hope I didn't freak her out too bad with all the reminders in my Outlook calendar for the Secret Music show plus reminders to buy tix for the Oct 3rd Bethnal Green show (see ya there suckeritos!).... only a little obsessed.

Here is my face:

Was going for gothic undead 20s spinster-siren.... SPOOKY, no???? I did black lipliner with Feu de Terre by Nars on the lips... As far as I can tell this is a selfie in the b-room once back home so probably not my best look. 

Und here is the group pic:

Can you spot me?

As well as the only surviving evidence of Senor Bear?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation, aka HOLS!

WTF has the time gone?

I am alive. I promise. If only barely. I have been upping the intensity of my new cycling to work routine which has left me battered of body and face... seriously, have got an insatiable family of chinstrap acne that, like a rapper's girlfriend's booty, JUST WON'T QUIT!

Anyways... these past few weeks... months?!?!... have been emotionally exhausting as well... every dramz, you name it, I gots it. Family dramz? Check. Medical dramz? Check! Dramz dramz? Check check!

But I am somehow making it out.... slowly...

PROOF! 

Girls' night out at Street Feast, followed by an impossibly delicious dinner at White Rabbit in Dalston, where some squinty posh chap let us know that we are cute but "not that hot"... ahhhh. Bless dem beautiful squinty, marble mouthed tw@ts...

If you look close you can see my latest Tatty Devine acquisition... the BURGER NECKLACE! Thinking some tasteful nudes with nothing but the burger are in order... wazzah.

I also stumbled across this pic of The Cr3w while at home in LA showing off my London friends to my mommy... We are forming a LDN bike gang if anyone wants in on that! Yeah, we gon' get jackets.

Oh yes, did I not mention I have been in LA for a while?!?! No? Is that because I was having such an amazing time I forgot that everything else in the world existed? No! But close...

 Not only did we do LA, we also did San Diego and Las Vegas!

We stayed at the Lafayette Hotel in San Diego and absolutely loved it... possibly more on that later!

But here is the pool where we spent 1 week of our lives when we were not eat, eat, eating! This was a particularly overcast moment... I assure you I came back peely and burneded.

Another highlight... when in LA we went to the Wild Records Yound N Wild Weekender! I finally got to see the Delta Bombers!!! And I 'sploded straight from yippy fangirl to hard core humina humina groupie. It gave me feeelings. I also caught a bit of Mary Simich of Wacky Tacky fame! But did not spot Mr. Tiny himself... Bummer! I also got to see Doris MayDay! Both at the PUG boutique and at the show... STALKER ALERT. Jooooookes. Also caught Omar and The Stringpoppers and Gizelle... Let's say I was not overly thrilled that Ms. Gizelle gave the mister the ol' humina huminasssss. Uncool! :)

handsome bastards.... The Delta Bombers!

View from our ace suite at the Tropicana... seriously the revamp they did is so ace even though I am a Tropicana purist... Highly recommended...

And lastly, the only real reason to go to LA... a King's Hawaiian cake!

And eat it we did.... mostly between the hours of 4 and 6am LA time....

Some more posts soon!

Thanks for checking in!

Oh, My Revolution Girl: Generations on a Theme

Natividad aka "Nana" aka "The Godmother of Gardena"

Georgina aka "Mama" aka "Wonder Woman"

Gigi (at 17) aka "Mija" aka "Gordita" aka "Scooter"

Gigi (at 27) aka "Body by Burger" aka "Who let that lady in?"

A Father's Day History Mystery

About 15 years ago, I was having a tough time as a "teenage super-square". I was never too bratty, or angsty, I guess, just kind of.... lost and confused.

One day, my dad came home from doing his rounds on the Garage Sale circuit (That's right, my dad was one of the original G-Salers) with a precious little wooden box inlaid with silver and copper accents in the form of Egyptian motifs.

He told me the box had a very interesting history behind it.

It had belonged to a young girl many, many years ago who was filled with sorrow at losing her love. She would cry every day, saving her tears in this box. And penning little notes of hopes and wishes that when mixed with her tears in this magical box would come true.

So he told me that next time I feel sad I should do the same. And keep all my hopes and wishes in there.

He spun a good yarn and, as I was and will always be a sucker for that man, I still believe every word to this day.

I don't know much else about the box other than that story. A little Sunday googling lead me to this:

So I am assuming it is also from the 1920s / 1930s and it looks like it could be quite similar, albeit in much worse condition.

Not that its condition matters at all. How could I even think of Antique Roadshow-ing a genuine magical wishing box???

But really, I hope everyone has a lovely Father's Day - because I know I won't. Nothing's much of anything without my "Fatty". Staying positive :)

And now for something inappropriate... I mean SEASONALLY INAPPROPRIATE... Golly Gee!

Although, the weather today is definitely saying "October... in hell"... and not "June in... ANYWHERE"!

Today, I would like to take a moment to talk to you about Halloween.

It is my favourite holiday - and should be yours, too.

I take Halloween very seriously and have at times ended up flailing and shouting at strangers on the street for not taking it seriously enough and for boring the pants off me. Trust.

Here are some images of Hallowe'ens past.

::Nostalgic Oscar death reel music::

2012

Half-a$$ed Gil Elvgren girl pin-up! With skirt literally pinned up to get that Oh So OOPS look!

Not my car.

The Original!

Woops - still not my car.

2011

Pretty much the greatest thing I have ever done. This picture does not even come close to capturing the full frontal severity of this look. Everything was rainbow. Frida Kahlo.

2010

I'm thinking the costume brief was "Sexy [Noun]"... I'm really surprised no one else came as Sexy Karl Lagerfeld.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!! booze.

Too Many Moons Ago

Betty Boop! Get it! My momz made / altered the dress from a Betsy Johnson I scored at the Goodwill for like a dollah. Ubiquitous Red Cup! Cropped to protect the innocents.

Credits: Grease Monkeys

Jamz!: Two Things That I Kinda Like Need Right Now

Macklemore.....

Plus Burgers...........

Equals...........

{Though for serious my jam is White Walls - Listen to it!}

Credits: JaKeepinItReal

Why Didn't I Think Of That?!?: Twerk it!

Ok - so for my first "Why Didn't I Think Of That?!?" post I am featuring a different kind of "tech start-up" - a YouTuber!

Introducing... Mr. Mawaan Rizwan, aka Malum TV!

I am a tough critic of comedy - coming from a long-line of jokers, clowns, hee-haws and knee-slappers - and while his humor is a bit less subtle than my all-time favorite, Mitch Hedberg, he's still funny!

We here at Body By Burger salute him and wish him all the luck in his future in comedy and online video production!

I found this video via Jezebel.

Bonus: MITCH HEDBERG!

Hollywood Globetrotter: San Sebastian, Spain

Get it? Because I'm from Hollywooooood!

Fun fact... the monsieur is from a town nicknamed "Hællæwood". Fun fact over!

Just a quick note on my trip to San Sebastian... I went on my first Bachelorette Party! We danced, we drank, we laughed, we cried, we ate, we drank, we ate, we napped, we "shiny pants danced".... instantly viral Youtube video of this coming soon... jk... I do have some shame.

Enough chatter. More pretty pics.

the view from La Perla bar

amazin' pintxos

waaaahhhhh??? ya jealous. 

beautiful and perfect sangria - hangover cure du weekend

and this.... this moscato... this nectar of the gods... this tasted like the sun god was makin' sweet love on your tongue. it was divine. it was an otherwordly experience.

and i didn't take any notes on anything.

bad, bad, bad blogger.

but if anyone needs any recommendations I am sure I can jog my hazy wine soaked memory :)

Mintage!: Will Give Good Face for Burgers!

As previously mentioned, on Saturday I was left to slave away at home on my hair and makeup while lucky little Senor Bear got to go to work all day... Unfair!

But I somehow managed.... AND I somehow managed to do some ACE eyebrows if I do say so myself.

Which of course lead to....

Let's begin....

(Ignore the gobs of Garnier Perfect Blur caking on my forehead - I got overzealous)

This is probably my favourite picture of me, like, evah. That's not even special effects. That's all face.

But seriously... how good are those brows?? And I even managed to somehow mold my skanky little fringe into a sweet quasi-bumper bang / front roll!

I am obviously quite pleased with myself... heh heh. Though I forgot to put proper mascara... woops. I was too excited by the brows and wanted to snappity snap before they got effedy effed up. And no whatever that thing is coming out of my left eye is not an epic eyelash... Don't know what that is really.

BONUS PIC: 

GRATUITOUS DUCKFACE!

Yea, I am quite pleased with the hair and makeup that resulted from this marathon make up session.

I don't know if my favourite thing about the pic below is the fact that is looks NOTHING like me, the fact that you can see my baby fat arms (weeeeheeewweeehhhhhh) or the fact that I literally had to take this pic lying on the couch because I could not find one free spot in the house that didn't have laundry hanging, bikes leaning, drum sets imposing... excuses excuses. I know why I am doing this weekend. Turning the music room into the ridiculous selfies room.

Thanks all, this has been.....

Credits: Bloggif

Yum!: The Fish & Chip Shop, Islington

Attention Vintage Lifestyle Enthusiasts and Bloggers... Freakin' adorable restaurant / photoshoot location alert!

Saturday day was spent left to my own devices (oh, hello spending hours upon hours staring in the mirror plus a quick trip to see The Great Gatsby in 3D -- which I loved).

Saturday night was nearly ruined by Street Feast being a ghost town (I simply can't figure that place's schedule out) but was saved at Lucky Chip (obvs) with a few pickle backs and burgers (OBVS).

Sunday morning (the wee morning) resulted in an impromptu tender lovin' foot stompin' dance party at the casa with only a few incidents of attempted arson and one runaway bicyclist.... and one hella rousin' game of Trivial Pursuit.

Sunday afternoon (the part where I woke up) was welcomed by the most lady-like of headaches and raccoon eyes.

Sunday evening... was amazing.

We went for a walk to regain our health and lustre and ended up in Islington, as is often the case.

We could not for the life of us decide what to nourish ourselves with... until we both blurted out Mongolian BBQ at the same time! Realising that that was a pipe dream in our current state we decided to settle for something nearby.... and then we passed it.

Oh glory be it was gorgeous. Where did this oasis in the desert come from? Is this a fever dream?

It was The Fish & Chip Shop!

Of course, since I was in a "delicate" state I didn't even bring my phone so got no pictures! I suck at this.

But I did find a few around the Google.....

Gorgeous, am I right? 

And the food wasn't half bad neither!

I had.... drumroll...

Scallop to start

Halfpint o' prawns to start all over again

The whole grilled lemon sole

Spicy tartar sauce

Mushy peas

Pickled wally

Strawberries and Cream with Shortbread

Accompanied by:

The House White which was lovely

And the most beautifully coloured Cava Rosado... it was like a dream!

Herr Le Bear had:

The Whole Lobster with Chips

Garlic Mayo

Strawberries and Cream and Shortbread

Such a dude!

We recommend the place. Though the lobster was wonderful it wasn't 100% perfectly / evenly cooked.

Other than that, zero complaints. 

Fantastic atmosphere, delightful service, delicious fish!

I give it... an arbitrary 8/10... with 10/10 being the first time I ever had Hawksmoor.

Sigh. To go back and do that one all over again :)

Credits: The Fish and Chip Shop, Pantling Studio, How To Spend It

Yum!: Oh That Shimmy Shimmy Shake Shack!

Guess what, kitty kitty kats?

July 5th! Covent Garden! Shake Shack!

Looks like I got a new lunch spot to rotate in! And a good thing at that because I'm in a kinda Kimchee all day everyday rut and need to mix it up.

Plus we need a good burger joint 'round these parts. What's that you say? What about Meat Market? Well, dearies, my REPEAT disappointment with Meat Market warrants its own post. Love me some Meat Liquor, and Meat Mission tickles this belly at least once a month but Meat Market is... just so off every single time. I hope to some day prove myself wrong but I don't think I'll be laying my money down to do that any time soon....

Not to mention I have been dying for a Strawberry milkshake for ages now but was so badly burned by the "milkshake" they sucker people into at Benet's by Brick Lane that I am so scared to try to love again. I need a tried and true, All American, through and through, red white and blue milkshake. Until July 5th though, if anyone has suggestions for good milkshakes do send this way!

So.... Shake Shack, you did me right that sweltering lonely day in when I was burning up with gross mid-summer fever in NYC... I can't wait to meet again!

Credit: Shake Shack